Chapter 7: Donerick "Dopps" Arabella Shithead Schism Suspiciouslittlekid

He's supercalifragulisticexpealidosious

April 2nd, 2017.

Poor souls, the Blue Team essentially had to start their debate about “Dopps” the roguish Doppelganger over again. It felt as if nearly a year had passed since they’d last discussed the topic, though of course only moments had gone by.

Dopps/Donerick/that guy whined a lot and alternately either requested the sweet mercy of death or begged for anything-but-that. Party attitudes were as follows: Garius believes in second (third? fourth?) chances. Shovel believes in, You dun fucked up. Roderick believes in being the only Roderick. Kilik* decided to take some well-deserved me time and wandered off to either hunt and track or furiously masturbate, depending on who you ask. Susan believes in gold, and so she searched Big D (What, the DM doesn’t get to come up with nicknames?) really freaking well.

So well that she found a sweet ring hidden in his mouth! That’s not even where rings go! She kept it, to the distress of the Doppelganger. He joined the party through coercion and threats. Really, it’s all thanks to Garius for his can-do attitude.

The Blue Team found a small village, though from afar it appeared to be more like an outpost or encampment. Shovel’s trusty raven familiar who we all forget about and whose name may or may not be Edgar allowed Shovel to Bran Stark it up and get a literal bird’s eye view. The party saw the world’s buffest village, which they found a little discouraging.

Some villagers came out to meet them, and they were surprisingly friendly. The adventuring party was brought back to town, had a chat with the religious leader of the village, and was served some amazing chicken. Why did no one ask for the recipe? Y’all missed your shot. While being good guests, they learned that everyone in this town is part of some cultish following of the Tempus, a god of honorable warfare. Their devotion was signified by a sword shaped scar on their face and they were obsessed with the color red and with killing off some neighboring heretics who were worshipping Tempus all wrong and probably setting demons loose and loved the color blue. Also, Tempus was speaking to the Hammer (aka priest).

Blue team covertly hid their cherished Blue Team insignia. Roderick got hit on by a teenager who likes murder, which he seemed pretty cool with.

The gang headed north, spotting a tower they’d been told belonged to a wizard named Daisys along the way, and eventually getting a dose of deja vu when they arrived in blue-Tempus-village. THEIR hammer complained about heretics and demons and everybody loved lifting weights and said their chicken was better (which went unverified). Again, really missed out there. But yeah, Tempus was talking to their priest as well, and had been for several generations.

Shovel figured it out first—village A hates B, B hates A, wizard in the middle. This is all the wizard’s fault.

The party managed to be courteous for five fucking seconds, knocking on Daisys’ door. She said hey, then slammed the door in their faces when they started talking about the nearby villages. So naturally certain individuals started Fireball’ing the door—very poorly, doing zero damage. Daisys decided to invite them all in, and the session ended as it was 1am in Japan and time to roll initiative.

*Brandon was kidnapped or something to State College and not present.

Experience: None, no combat or completed quests.
Next session: April 28th or 29th, 2017/



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