Tirgaffr

Chapter 4: Guys, This is Murder Poop

2nd Place in The Nobody's Cup, and We All Love Owlbears

Blue team finished their stellar competing by beating the shit out of each other. The last task of The Nobody’s Cup required them to solve a logic puzzle. Five white marble discs sat before a magical purple door which reminded the team of jam at first glance. Soon they discovered that it was not jam, it was annoying. On the bottom of the discs were words which they organized to read “To be strong, you must be weak.”

They spent a lot of time trying to hurl and smack the discs and various other items such as their fists at the door with no effects. Eventually, Shovel figured out that hey, maybe someone should get knocked out. Everyone laughed at him. Turned out he was right, though – the marple discs began to exude an encouraging warmth when a person who had sustained any sort of damage made contact. Blue Team proceeded to attack with gusto. Susan was personally offended, and tried to charm Shovel into treating her better, hitting Kilik by accident as he dove to intercept what he thought was a puzzle-helping Eldrich Blast.

Blue Team (for life) came in second in the competition, which awarded them some ability-boosting potions and a bit of nice cash. They also attracted fans, some of whom flirted with them, but another sent them on a quest. Lord Neville the Patchily Bearded, a young, nervous human lord trying to do right by his people, implored that the party come and put an end to a terrible beast or beasts rampaging about his lands. Intrigued by promises of gold, tracking, and the saving of otherwise edible babies, Blue Team stuck together and journeyed northward.

Kilik tracked the heck out of whatever was out there, and found two diverging paths. One of a big, solitary beast and another of many vaguely humanoid creatures. The team chose to follow the former, which lead them to some Owlbear poo (full of the bones of babies) and then the Owlbear who did the poo. It roared a lot on a tiny island, and threatened a couple of ladies and their kids in a tree. It wasn’t as threatening as the DM had thought, and was slain without even getting to attack anybody, which is sad because one of its attacks is called “Beak” which is just awesome sorry it’s almost 11pm and I need to sleep what is punctuation

Experience Points:
Disc and door puzzle: 75 exp
Owl-bearnie Sanders: 140 exp

Approximate total exp: 655
All party members should level up to 3.

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LeilaG

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